• Heather Barr

Homeschooling Through Seasons of Grief

Have you ever found yourself in the valley of grief while also homeschool your children? If you have you know it is tough! Sadly, it is also part of the ebb and flow of life for everyone. It was around this time last year (2019) that grief and fear took center stage in our life. My family is certainly no stranger to grief. You see it had skirted around and punched us in the gut many times over the previous four years. We actually have a timeline of grief points from the last four years. My husband's mother became ill and passed, my mother had to face the battle of a lifetime through leukemia, our youngest son was diagnosed with Autism and had a year of ER/hospital visits due to his medical condition being set off by GI issues, and other things in our story that we just don't talk about. Deeply sad losses in our Christian walk that shook us as a family to our core. The final straw was when my perfectly healthy 16 year developed a mystery illness that lasted 9 months.

As home educators we all have them. Seasons of struggle, trials, and grief. It is part of life, and as we have chosen to teach at home these life circumstances can often effect how and what we teach. Sometimes math takes the back burner and your child has to learn to be ok with resting. Sometimes reading is done in the car on the way to the 5th doctors appointment that month, or on the plane on a way to a funeral you didn't expect. Then on top of that grief we place guilt on ourselves because didn't finish that book or get to a certain math lesson by June. It can also bring on attachments that aren't healthy. Maybe you are holding on to that co-op, job, friendship, or idea that isn't good for you because you just can't handle the thought of even one more loss!

Please let this sink in: Grief, struggle, and trials ARE a part of your life. Do not allow the idea that you are alone and God is against you to sink in to your thought process. God is FOR you! God LOVES you! Homeschooling IS important and you ARE doing Kingdom work! We may not all talk about our struggles, but we all have them. Sometimes our grief makes us tired, frustrated, or angry. Maybe we might snap at our kids about something that would have never bothered us. It happens! None of us are perfect! This is, however, a perfect time to talk it through with your children in an age appropriate manner. Plus, never pass an opportunity to ask your children for forgiveness when needed and model this important skill for them. Asking for grace and showing grace in your home will teach your children more about the love of Christ than you realize! Also, never allow someone to tell you how you act on your worst day is WHO you really are. If you are in the depths of grief or pain and feel alone you may not react to situations as you normally would. You may not have time to recall the beautiful Bible verses that helped cultivate you into a loving mother and teacher. This does not mean you are a failure. It means you are a human. God calls us to Him, and he sanctifies us daily. He cleanses us and teaches us through our trials to be who HE wants us to be.

Give yourself grace for today, and know that if you are walking through a dark valley God can and will lead you. Stop worrying and allow him to show you the way. Do not give up in your homeschool journey and remember learning about life and how to maneuver difficult situations is part of why we homeschool! It is also a great idea to dig deep into God's word! It is only through his word that we can truly know his character! Here are some Bible verses that have ministered to my heart in difficult times:

"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble."

Psalm 9:9

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."

Psalm 18:2

Dear Lord,

Thank you for being my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer! Thank you for comforting me with your word and presence in times of trouble! Lord I pray for those who are in the depths of grief! I pray that you will give them comfort, give them support of strong Christians, and give them strength to continue to homeschool with a happy heart.

In Jesus name, Amen!

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